OCD is not an adjective

My last blog-post centered around the arbitrariness of numbers and how statistics can mislead. I don't hate numbers or counting, though. Numeracy development is part of my job, and Rachel Riley is one of my idols. I don't infer too much from statistics, but I enjoy collecting them. I memorize dates for no discernible reason. I also don't stop counting. Ever. I am a compulsive counter, and this is not uncommon amongst people with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

I have only recently realized how many areas of my life are affected by OCD. Whilst I've been aware of it for a long time, I didn't realize just how much of my behaviour was influenced by it. I recognized my obsessions, compulsions and their triggers, but not the other anxiety-driven behaviours I exhibited which are typical of OCD. When you've thought something all your life, it's strange to discover that it isn't "normal" (whatever that means).

Obsessions are pervasive intrusive thoughts or images which can vary from aesthetically frustrating images to violent and morbid scenarios. One that I have is a pirate ship ride which keeps going over and over and never stops or changes direction, however much I want it to. And I always want it to because I like things to be balanced; if the ship has gone round clockwise ten times, I need it to go anti-clockwise ten times. To make the ship change direction, I might repeat a physical action (like blinking), but it never works. To distract myself from the obsession, I might then enact an alternative compulsion such as repeating a short phrase over and over in my head until the total number of syllables I have uttered come to a total divisible by eighteen. And then I'd do it again, just to check I hadn't cheated the first time. And then I'd probably do it again, just in case I forgot how to count the second time. It's hardly a disturbing obsession or debilitating compulsion (particularly as I can do it whilst doing other things), but it serves as a good illustration of how OCD can manifest.

Detailing my own experiences of OCD is not my main aim, however, in this blog-post; if you want to understand what OCD might involve (as it's different for each individual), this is a great website. I want to talk about OCD from a more linguistic perspective; specifically, I want to talk about how it is not an adjective, and how flippant use of the term is contributing towards a serious misunderstanding of the disorder. I'm not a particularly ranty person, but this is something which really cooks my swede.

OCD is not an adjective, and if it were, it would not be a gradable one. One cannot "be" OCD, and if you have ever referred to yourself as being "so OCD" or "a little bit OCD, there's a strong likelihood that you do not know what OCD is, and an even stronger likelihood that it does not affect you.

Liking things clean and tidy does not mean you have OCD. Whilst compulsive cleaning or straightening manifests in many people who suffer from OCD, it is not because they like things clean and tidy. Once the OCD sufferer has cleaned or straightened, he or she will not be satisfied with the outcome, and will probably do it again. And again. And again. Many OCD sufferers - and I definitely include myself in this - are actually quite untidy people. Those television programmes about hoarders are a good example of how OCD can manifest.

OCD is used flippantly in reference to pet peeves, which makes absolutely no sense. How does being annoyed by something bear any resemblance to having your mind consumed by pervasive thoughts which trigger the execution of a useless and tenuously linked (or even unrelated) action which interferes with your ability to function? How does being annoyed by the misuse of apostrophes compare with feeling that every single decision you make has the potential to result in a global catastrophe? Arguably, this is true if you believe in The Butterfly Effect. I don't dissuade OCD sufferers from thinking about that, though; if you can genuinely predict the knock-on effect of your actions on a global scale, you are probably some sort of god.

Time for a quick personal example? Go on then. For years, I refused to eat Big Macs, not because of their shocking nutritional qualities, but because I thought a certain person would die if I did. And that person wasn't even somebody with whom I had any real connection. The compulsions carried out by those with OCD do not serve the purpose of satisfying the agent, and yet we still do them. I bloody love gherkins and Big Mac sauce, so I was certainly never satisfied at denying myself, healthily beneficial as it undoubtedly was.

Therefore, please think next time you use OCD as an adjective, and remember that it isn't one. It's a disorder which seriously affects people's lives, and flippant use of the term only serves to derogate it.

Right, I'm going back to the very important tasks of corpus trawling and syllable counting. After all, I wouldn't want a woman in Hartlepool to drive into a tree.

Namaste,
Emma