745 words and three kisses

"Your self-worth, beauty, strength, and overall awesomeness is not defined by numbers."

- Nia Shanks

There is a real obsession in our society on measuring progress, and we almost always do this using numbers. If I learned anything at university last year (and that clause really is conditional, because I genuinely wonder whether I did), it was that statistics can be incredibly misleading. The data we present is rarely the whole story, and we can claim almost anything by tailoring the presentation of authentic data to support our claims. 

Those who work in education look to hit targets, and a school's success is measured not by pupils' happiness, sense of wonder or love of learning, but by percentages and arbitrary variables. Instead of looking to do the best for each individual, schools are forced to prioritize figures, and many education professionals are forced to think of children only in terms of how they can contribute to those figures. Sometimes, the smallest improvement can make a huge difference to a child, and yet unless the improvement is in line with arbitrary expectations, that improvement does not contribute towards the precious targets set by people who don't even know that child. It is an incredibly sad situation, but it isn't exclusive to education. 

In the fitness industry, there is a real obsession with allowing numbers to define us, be it in terms of pounds lost within an specified period of time, lean muscle gained, weight lifted or body fat percentage. This is something which Nia Shanks talks about a lot. The quotation at the top of this blog is part of Nia's mission to show women that no number should define our self-worth, whether that number is a body measurement of any sort, or the numbers on the barbells or dumbbells we lift. Whilst numbers can give us targets to ensure a positive journey towards them, they can also cause us to forget why we actually do something. 

Last year, I noticed that my waist had shrunk after a few months of weight training (where my target was increased functional strength), and so I chose this random by-product of training to measure my subsequent progress as I tried to further increase strength. I am well aware that this makes absolutely no sense. I over-trained and I under-ate. I lost strength as I focused on this ridiculous process of Barbification, and it took a long time to realize that I had never even wanted a smaller waist, and that I had completely lost focus on my real reason for training. 

After a rocky year at university, I failed to achieve the target grade I had set myself; I was inconsolable. I allowed that grade to define me, and in my mind, it defined me as stupid, inferior, incompetent and incapable of further study. I know full well that I am none of those things, and that anybody who allows that grade to categorize me as such has no business doing so. 

The funny thing is that nobody is ever likely to label me based on arbitrary numbers from my life; I am the only person who really needs to accept that I am not defined by a grade, waist measurement or deadlift one-rep max. When I eventually hit the deadlift target I have set myself, I won't be a better person than I am now. I'll just be able to pick up slightly heavier things than I currently can. It's easy to lose focus. 

Measuring success with numbers happens in almost every area of life: word counts, weight loss, weight gain, pay grades, years in a relationship, goals scored, international caps, papers published, sexual partners, GCSEs... How often do we measure success by the age at which it is achieved? Why is it so important to be married before you're 30, 40 or even 50? Yes, it's very impressive if somebody reaches the top of his or her field by a very young age, but life is not a race, and we'll all get there in our own time. The exciting thing is that we don't know where "there" is, but we definitely know that it isn't a number.

I'm not saying numbers are bad, just that they shouldn't allow us to lose sight of reality. 

You know where we don't measure progress by numbers? Yoga. It is a non-competitive practice, and the only accurate measure of progress is happiness. Also, being upside-down is super cool.

Namaste

Emma

xxx